The Holy Days

The Holy Days come up "quickly" this year. Actually, they are right on time according to the Jewish calendar but their arrival at the very beginning of our American academic calendar has caught many of us off guard.

This time of year calls for internal reflection, stock taking. It's the time when we check in with ourselves and say - is this who we want to be in the world? It's also the time for repairing relationships, making amends. The rabbi's teach us that while Yom Kippur atones for those sins between an individual and God, it will atone for sins between one individual and another only after the individual has made amends - apologized and changed his or her behavior for the future.

So in that spirit, I offer humble apologies to any one who I may have wronged in the past year, with or without intent. Please accept my apologies and please inform me of any wrongdoing I may be unaware of so that I can take proper steps to turn my path. And secondly, any one who seeks forgiveness from me is hereby forgiven. May no one accrue guilt on my behalf.

I offer you, for your teshuva process, a list of questions you might find helpful as you approach this season. Take the time to think about the answers, write down one or two. I found them in a book entitled Rosh Hashanah Yom Kippur Survival Kit by Shimon Apisdorf. (Leviathan Press, 2000.) I recommend it as an accessible companion to the High Holy Day services.

1 When do I most feel that my life is meaningful?
2 How often do I express my feelings to those who mean the most to me?
3 Are there any ideals I would be willing to die for?
4 If I could live my life over, would I change anything?
5 What would bring me more happiness than anything else in the world?
6 What are my three most significant achievements since last Rosh Hashanah?
7 What are the three biggest mistakes I have made since last Rosh Hashanah?
8 What project or goal, if left undone, will I most regret next Rosh Hashanah?
9 If I knew I couldn't fail, what would I undertake to accomplish in life?
10 What are my three major goals in life?
       a. What am I doing to achieve them?
       b. What practical steps can I take in the next to months toward these goals?
11 If I could give my children only three pieces of advice, what would they be?
12 What is the most important decision I need to make this year?
13 What important decision did I avoid making this year?
14 What did I do last year that gave the strongest feeling of self-respect?
15 When do I feel closest to God?
16 Do I have a vision of where I want to be one, three and five years from now?
17 What are the most important relationships in my life?
       a. Over the past year did those relationships become closer and deeper or was there a sense of stagnation and drifting?
       b. What can I do to nurture these relationships this year?
18 If I could change only one thing about me, what would that be?
19 If I could change one thing about my spiritual life, what would that be?

In answering these questions and beginning the process of teshuva or turning, please keep in mind Rabbi Tarfon's teaching: "It is not incumbent upon you to finish the task, nor are you free to desist from it." May this be a season of renewal and rebirth and a year of prosperity and peace for all of us.

L'Shana Tova
Rabbi Elyse

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