Rabbi's Message

Rabbi Elyse Wechterman
Read about the Rabbi
June 2006
Heroes in our Midst

As you know, I have the honor and good fortune of teaching Kitah Zayin (7th grade) in our religious school.

A few weeks ago, we were discussing the question of the meaning of life (not an uncommon discussion in 7th grade). We were reading a chapter in our text book about what it means to “be important” in the world today. Who are our heroes – and why? The book gave the example of a movie star such as Julia Roberts versus Erin Brokovich, the legal assistant who saved lives in her fight to close down a polluting factory. Julia Roberts portrayed Brokovich in a movie. Surely, Julia Roberts is the more famous, wealthier (and prettier) of the two. But really, who would you want as your friend or neighbor? The movie star or the one who fights for justice for people she doesn’t know.

Who are the real heroes in our world today?

At Agudas Achim, we are surrounded by heroes. Some of the heroes are obvious – the ones who give countless hours to make our community what it is; the teachers who strive to instill a love of Judaism and Jewish community in our children; the folks who always respond “yes” to my calls for help. Then there are some lesser known heroes – fighting their own battles with grace, humility and courage in awe inspiring and heroic ways.

Rabbi Elyse with Nicole

I would like to introduce you to one of them in this column. Nicole Caron is 15 years old. She graduated form our Hebrew School three years ago and has been a dedicated and beloved aide every year since. Those of you who know her, know Nicole is always smiling – she is the friendliest, most outgoing young woman in the community. She always has something bright to say. Nicole is a wonderful friend, a bright student, a fabulous teacher and role model for our children. This past October, Nicole was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis – a debilitating disease that affects the central nervous system. Nicole recently sent me a letter about her diagnosis and her response to it. She has graciously given me permission to share this letter with you:

Dear Friends,

I've always read a lot of books about how someone's life can change in a split second. Never in my life would I have guessed that it would have happened to me.

This past October, my life changed forever. This all started last August. I had just gotten back from soccer camp, and three of my fingers were numb. I just assumed, being the clumsy girl I am, I had hurt myself at camp. Since it cleared up two weeks later I thought nothing of it. That is until October, when I started to have continuous migraines and I couldn't see very well out of my left eye. I was also more tired then ever, and would go home from school and sleep every single day.  

This is when the appointments started.  I had to get MRIs, a spinal tap, and finally started to see MS specialists. When it was pretty clear to them that I had multiple sclerosis, I was diagnosed. I went home that day and cried. I had always had an amazing life, and it wasn't fair that this was happening to me.

But the appointments still didn't stop. I had to keep searching for the perfect specialist, one that my family and I both liked. We finally found her after the 5th appointment. She is amazing and has helped me through so much. I feel that I am in great hands. My vision fully returned to normal and my headaches stopped.

Who knew that everything would come crashing down again so soon? My 3rd attack was in my right eye this time. By now I knew a lot more about what was going on. I could clearly tell that I had optic neuritis, a condition when the optic nerve (connects the eye and brain) swells up causing headaches and blurred vision. So once again I was down in the dumps and exhausted. I was still continuously going to doctors and I felt hopeless. I felt that every time I finally started to feel back to normal, I would have an attack and be completely miserable again. I didn't even remember what it felt like to be my normal self. I felt like I was always tired and could never do what I wanted because of my illness. When I could do something, I was too tired to do it.

Anyway, when my eye finally cleared up, I was once again relieved. And of course, along came the leg. The 2nd night of Passover, and the day before vacation officially started, my leg went numb.  Instead of celebrating Passover, I spent my night at the hospital for 4 hours, on steroids. For every attack I have to go on steroids because it brings down any swelling and helps my cells go back to normal (keep reading and I will explain this). On top of having yet another attack, I found out that because of me, my family was not going away to Texas for vacation, the one thing that I had been looking forward to. I was going to consider it a break from everything, a break that I desperately needed. Instead, I was on steroids (an IV injection) for 3 days, 2 hours each day. And the steroids always wipe me out completely, so I pretty much slept through the first 5 days of vacation. My leg, like everything else, eventually healed.

But even after all of this, I still feel blessed. I still think I am luckier than anyone I know. I have the best family. My mom worked at Boston Children's Hospital for 20 years, so I can depend on her any time, and she can always find the best doctors and get me in right away. My Dad and brother are always there for me, listening to me vent and cheering me up. And most importantly, praying. My extended family always calls to check in and sends me nice notes. I have amazing friends, who have also been there for me through it all, always sharing a good story when I need a laugh.

The reason I feel most blessed though is because I know that there are other people out there who have it way worse. Multiple sclerosis is a disease of the central nervous system. A good way of explaining it is to compare it to a wire. A wire has a protective coating around the outside and that coating gets attacked because the cells get confused. The cells eat away at the coating until they get to the wire. This is when the symptoms come out. MS can increase clumsiness, cause numbness, and cause loss of vision. I give myself a daily injection to try to prevent anything further from happening. This is all that I have experienced, and I hope that it is all I will ever have to experience. But there can be much worse. Some people with MS become paralyzed or blind. I am thankful that I am not one of those people, and that my vision has fully returned. This experience has made me a stronger person. I realize what I am grateful for.

Love,
Nicole Caron

Nicole wrote this letter in order to garner support for her father’s efforts to raise money for the MS Society (an organization that supports research to find a cure). She told me she wanted to make sure that other people could have access to treatment and support. She wanted to let her friends and family know about her illness so that they would understand MS and want to help.

In sharing her story and reaching out to others, Nicole has shown true heroism. She is the kind of person I am proud to have in our community and teaching in our school. I know you will join me in praying for Nicole’s well-being and health. I also urge you to join her as a person who knows how to live life with an eye on the really important things and making it meaningful whatever comes your way. As my 7th graders will (hopefully) tell you – this is the only real meaning to life.

Enjoy the summer!
Rabbi Elyse

PS – If you are motivated to support Nicole’s dad, Mike Caron as he participates in a bicycle marathon for the MS Society, please call 401.738.8383 to find out how.

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