Rabbi's Message

Rabbi Elyse Wechterman
Read about the Rabbi
June 2004

There are few things I hear in and around the synagogue that make me as sad as the following statements:

"Well, you know, my husband (wife, partner, etc.) isn't Jewish so I just don't think we'd be very welcome in the synagogue." - or - "I don't know much about the traditions (services, Hebrew, etc) so I don't think I'd fit in."

These lines, or some version of them, never cease to amaze and disappoint me.
Our community, by reputation and experience, is one of the more welcoming, open and inclusive Jewish communities around. We have active and participating members who are non-Jews, Jews by choice, formerly unaffiliated Jews, Jews finding their way, as well as just regular, plain-old dyed-in-the-wool synagogue going Jews. In fact, there are very few people here who are absolutely 100% certain and clear about their relationship to Jewish practice and tradition and who aren't, in some way, evolving and journeying on a path. I know that. Many of you know that. But then how come many of the people who wander into our doors - or don't even dare to come - don't know that?

What we have, in my opinion, is a PR problem. And it isn't ours alone. Many people come to a relationship with a synagogue carrying all sorts of heavy baggage. From incredibly boring or bad experiences as children to having been turned off by close-minded or unwelcoming communities as adults, many Jews in America are rightfully suspicious of claims to the opposite.

That fact makes our job here at Agudas Achim all the more challenging. We can't only talk about being an open and welcoming community - we have to act it. And we have to enact that commitment starting first with ourselves.

Rabbi Sid Schwarz, a colleague and author of the book "Finding a Spiritual Home," claims that the most important step in creating a truly warm and welcoming community is to get members into each other's homes. Here in reserved, New England Yankeedom, that's an especially challenging proposition. But not impossible.

We will have an opportunity to do this as a community in the fall when we cancel Friday night services on October 29th and share Shabbat dinner in each other's homes. Under the leadership of Judy Lehrer Jacobs, the synagogue will recruit hosts and match people up for dinner, provide a booklet of blessings and discussion topics and even help with menu planning so that we can begin to break down the walls that separate us as human beings and really connect with each other in meaningful, valuable and fun ways.

I'm looking forward to that opportunity and hope you will mark your calendar to either host a dinner or visit another member's home that evening.
But why wait for that program?

We are a welcoming and warm community - many people enjoy seeing each other and spending time together once they are here. I urge every one of you to think about carrying that positive energy into your homes and other activities as well.
This summer, invite your child's Hebrew School classmate over for a play date. Plan an outing with someone you see only at services. Make a date to have dinner together before coming on a Friday night, or plan a picnic for after synagogue on a Saturday. Go to the movies together, go for a walk or a bike ride.
Can't find a phone number? Call us, we would be happy to provide you with a way to connect with other members of the congregation. And, if in the course of your conversation, someone else happens to overhear what a wonderful place this is, maybe you will have made it easier for the next person to come in. In this way, we slowly, slowly, change the world.

Have a wonderful summer.

Rabbi Elyse

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