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Rabbi's Message
This year, in preparing sermons for the holy days, I decided to focus on a theme – the theme of house and home – bayit in Hebrew. I am consistently amazed at how often the concept of home, the reality of home or the lack of home plays into our sense of ourselves as Jews and human beings in the world. On Rosh Hashana I discussed our need to support our homeland – the place that holds the hearts of so many of us right now – Israel. Tomorrow – I plan to talk about some of the real homes in our communities – the homes in which some of our members reside – or don’t reside as the case may be.
Both these notions of home – a place on a map and a place in which to sleep – are physical homes. They are real, can be touched and experienced – they can also be vulnerable to attack and to decay. They can be abandoned in search of another home or returned to after a long journey. These homes are important to us – but they remain external to us. There is another home I want to talk about tonight – and this is the home that we carry with us wherever we go – the home that we can never escape and that, ultimately, is all we really ever have in this world. Some people call it the soul; others, the conscience and still for others, it is simply the self that we are in the world. It is more than our bodies, our actions and our words, although they are part of this house – this home. Yet, in addition to those external adornments, there are many rooms in this house that are never seen by the outside world – our thoughts, our feelings, our beliefs. It is this home – the home of our self - that I want to talk about tonight. Tonight, at this moment, you have an opportunity – each and every one of us has an opportunity to change our lives and to renovate our inner homes. That is what these Yamim Nora’im – these Days of Awe – are really all about. This is the moment that we can do a Heshbon haNefesh, an accounting of the soul. Often, when we talk about a Heshbon HaNefesh we think of taking stock of all of our misdeeds of the past year, all the ways we come up short – all the things for which we must do teshuva – repentance. But that is only half the battle. That is like purchasing a house based only on the inspectors report – it lists everything that is wrong in the house. A true Heshbon HaNefesh takes the entire house into perspective – the good, the bad and the ugly. A true Heshbon HaNefesh has us ask ourselves, where are we in reaching the goals of our life? For that matter, do we know the goals of our life? Can we articulate a direction? Where are we succeeding? Where are we in need of more work? What would you say? What can you say? What kind of judgment would be made on your life at this very moment? The next question is – are you comfortable with this judgment? This picture? More importantly, do you even know how you want to be measured – what yard stick you want used in your trial? There is a well known Hasidic parable that I often repeat: It is the one where Reb Zusya is crying shortly before his death. His students ask him, Reb Zusya, why are you crying; surely you have done great things in your life. Have you not tried to be like Moshe Rebeinu – our greatest prophet who ever lived? Reb Zusya answers, “Before the throne of judgment I will not be asked if I tried to be like Moshe. Rather, I will be asked if I had tried to be more like Zusya.” Zusya knew the yard stick he wanted to be measured against – his highest true self. Presumably, Zusya knew the paint colors and window treatments that were necessary for his inner home. How many of us can say that? How many of us really know where we want to go with this life, where we want to be at the end? Or are we mostly directionless, adrift and full of clutter? From my vantage point, it seems that there is far more of the latter walking around these days than the former. Whether from a mental illness: depression or anxiety for example; or discontent and dissatisfaction due to economic struggles; or a sense of helplessness and despair in a messed up world; or unhappiness in a marriage or primary relationship; or simply loneliness and isolation - more people in America – and more people in this congregation - are simply unhappy in their lives and unable to find meaning. More people have a lack of clarity about their goals and their directions and their ultimate visions for themselves then ever before. In short – many people’s inner homes are in need of remodeling. This is not to deny the real problems out in the world and the real struggles people face every day. But it is to say that as this world becomes more and more commercialized; as people become more and more isolated from one another; as we seek more and more value in the pursuit of and collection of things, it is often the soul that gets neglected. But here is the beauty of Judaism and especially of Yom Kippur. Right now, at this moment, you can begin to make meaning for your life. Right now, you can reclaim that part of your inner house that is cluttered and directionless and begin to set things right. This is the Heshbon HaNefesh I am talking about. And fortunately for us, our tradition is full of thoughtful, insightful and well-practice methods to help us to do that. In addition to an idea, Heshbon HaNefesh is also the title of a book. It is a self-improvement program developed by Rabbi Israel Salanter – a 19th century rabbi from Lithuania and the founder of the Judaism’s musar movement. Musar – sometimes translated as ethics – is the effort to mine the tradition for ethical and spiritual direction. It is also a vast literature of moral and ethical teaching. The first step this book suggests for ethical living is to discern a list of traits for living a life of meaning – for clearing out and ordering the inner house. This is the part that interests me. A list of traits – a set of goals – a road map to the kind of person you want to be is essential – otherwise we are left only with the traits and values of media images – of main stream America’s current opinion of what is valuable and worthy. What does Musar say are the important traits of a meaningful life? What are items we must inspect in our inner homes? Here are ten of them – ten things to reflect on in your life over this Yom Kippur and commit or recommit to working on in the next year:
There are other traits, other ideas we could add to this list. But this is a good start. If you did a quick inventory of yourself as I read this list, you probably came to the conclusion that you are doing sort-of ok overall. You are probably not exceptionally lacking in many of them nor exceptionally talented in a majority either. There may be one or two that need more improvement than others. But what you hopefully see is that overall – you need a little work – we all do – but you are definitely on the map – and now you actually have a map to work with. The teachers of musar suggest taking one trait per month. If you use these ten, you can have two months off in the summer. But take one trait per month focusing on its place, strength and vitality in your life. Like decorating a house one room at a time – set specific goals for yourself for each trait. Commit now to a plan of room-by-room improvement. By this time next year, all of our inner homes may be a little less cluttered and a little more welcoming. Shana Tova, |
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