Rabbi's Message

Rabbi Elyse Wechterman
Read about the Rabbi
Nov. 2004

Women and Men

Women in Jewish communities have come a long way in the past 30-40 years. We have women rabbis, women cantors, women philanthropists, women scholars, women synagogue presidents and officers, more women studying torah and learning about Judaism than ever before. And this is a great thing. For with the changing role of women and increasing presence on the bimah and elsewhere, we have witnessed a radical transformation of synagogue life as a whole.

What do I mean by this?

The promotion of women to positions of leadership in congregations has meant that women are no longer sidelined to the sisterhood and gift shop (worthy
enterprises themselves) but now take part in the overall decision making and visioning of our communities. Our schools have improved by the expectations
many professional women have brought to school committees. Our programming has increased to meet the needs and schedules of working professionals
of both genders. Most synagogue now offers some kind of childcare and children's services so that parents can enjoy prayer services together (rather than
leaving mom home with the kids).

The arrival of women rabbis on the scene has forced many communities to think differently about the role of rabbi altogether. More and more communities are hiring a second or third rabbi to share the load; many rabbis are working in part time positions by choice in order to raise families; many have pursued chaplaincy and hospital work as a profession and calling (rather than the work done by those who couldn't cut it in synagogues as in years past). All of these changes (for the better I believe) are in some way tied to the presence of and questions asked by women in the rabbinate.

All these are positive and exciting evolutions in American Judaism brought about by our experience in and adaptation of the women's movement in general American culture. It's an evolution for which we Reconstructionist - home of the first Bat Mitzvah - can be proud.

But like all great changes - there are often unforeseen circumstances along the way. A new challenge has arisen in American Judaism and it's one we share here at Agudas Achim as well.

As roles and definitions are changed by the influence of women, a new trend has emerged: the declining participation in communal life of Jewish men.

This isn't just about one congregation and I'm not trying to make any one feel guilty or put upon. But the fact is that a cursory look at JRF affiliates (Reconstructionist synagogues) shows an overwhelming majority of women presidents and a slight majority of women rabbis. When it comes to cantors -
well - there is really only one "Reconstructionist Cantor" and she is also a woman.

Several of my colleagues around the country have begun to discuss this issues (it really isn't just me) and have begun to explore the reasons why men seem to be disappearing from Jewish communal life. Is it because the programming and offerings don't fit the schedules of busy working men? Is it because even now, transmission of religious culture and values in a family is still regarded as the responsibility of wives and mothers? Or is it because the programs we offer just aren't interesting to men, don't speak to their cultural and spiritual needs? Or is it because with the redefinition of much of Jewish life in response to women's needs these past few years, men just can seem to find a place for themselves?

Far be it for me to suggest answers to these questions. But I do think they are important ones to raise, even for us. Here at Agudas Achim, participants in adult learning, committees, fundraising, board leadership, and services are predominately women. I am delighted so many women find meaning and comfort
in coming through our doors. I do hope that my presence as a woman rabbi is at least one factor in allowing us to grow this way.

And yet, I remain puzzled and concerned about what we (and I) might do to make this a vibrant, meaningful place for all our members: women and men. I am not suggesting any solutions in this column - just raising the issue. Anyone who would like to discuss it further (with or without me) is welcome to do so. And if I personally can do anything to reach out to the wonderful, upstanding, honest, hardworking, intelligent, Jewishly committed, and lovely men in our community, I'm all ears.

Rabbi Elyse

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